Ichi-go Ichi-e

Japanese Garden

I’m going to come clean with you today. Give you a peek into one of those drawers I usually keep bolted tight.

I do most things half-assed.

Yeah. That feels really good to admit.

Sure, I can rhapsodize about excellence and the well-designed life and having a Virgoan’s superior attention to detail. But I’d be kidding both of us. There’s so much more to my capabilities than I recognize and develop and a whole lot of potential that’s just growing hairy penicillin in the back of my medicine cabinet.. If I don’t reverse this, rigor mortis of my art and work may just set in.

When I was living in Roppongi, the ex-pat neighborhood of Tokyo, a few years back, I was part of the opening team of a new restaurant. I knew a lot about the business, and was expert in our company’s culture. What I didn’t realize was that the Japanese generally give a new venture ONE chance to prove itself. If we didn’t win our guests over during their first visit, they would never come again.

This brought a whole other level to our preparations, because once the novelty wore off, our best foot forward is what we’d be judged on. That’s pressure enough to change the game. In the more forgiving U.S., we’re all about innovation, tweaking, upgrading – it’s ongoing, but in Japan, more goes into the design process before the debut, to present the best possible product or service, than we probably do by the time we get down to our fifth version.

We live in a ‘good enough’ society. We settle. We get by. Sometimes that’s OK, and sometimes we suffer for it.

There’s an ancient proverb in Japan, derived from the grace and beauty of the tea ceremony:  Ichi-go Ichi-e. “One lifetime, one encounter.”  It means to bring full attention and complete sincerity to your actions, because each moment only exists once and must be fully realized and lived.

I was reminded of this last night, as I was dining with friends at Bizen in Great Barrington, Massachusetts. The owner, Michael Marcus, is not just the sushi chef, but he’s also a potter who apprenticed in Bizen, Okayama Prefecture and creates all the dishware used in his restaurant. His unglazed pieces are fired for 12 days, just once a year, in a large kiln he’s built on his property nearby. Talk about getting it right the first time!

We connected over a shared love of trekking and all things Nippon. He gave us a tour through his private tatami rooms dedicated to chado (tea ceremony) and kaiseki (a seasonal, multi-course meal), and his stunning, hand-crafted collection of vases.

The care, dedication, and passion he brought to both his pottery and our dinner was without question. He won us over by giving his full attention and heart to our experience. I used to do this, too, when I was serving others. But now that I’m in the service of myself, I think it’s time my inner CEO call a board meeting.

My best work is lying fallow. There’s a reason, yes, and that I’ll explore in my next post, but for now, suffice it to say that I’m committing – with you as my witness – that Ichi-go ichi-e is my new mantra.

Because once I devote to giving it EVERYTHING ~ to being my own best critic before I step in front of the mic ~ to crafting the most exquisite container for my bouquet ~ then I will truly be alive.

Hold me to this, I ask of you. My life depends on it.

Leave a comment


  1. What a great mantra! Thanks for sharing this chapter of your story, Kellie. I’m looking forward to the next one!

  2. I think they call that, “throwing the gauntlet down.” You live with me now, so I’m going to hold you to it…your meals depend on it!

  3. destrudowoman

     /  10 November 2011

    Fabulous post, Kellie! I’m inspired to pay more attention to the quality of my moments…all the best!

  4. Hey Kellie! As always, your posts are thought provoking. I’d say give it (whatever it is) your all but don’t be too hard on yourself if the result is not perfect. That’s the hardest part for any of us. Miss seeing you. I head back to Houston Saturday.

    • Hi Linda! How’d you know that I’m hard on myself? (and why is that more common than we think?)
      Thank you for the advice – it’s one that I need constant reminding of.
      Travel safely…see you in the spring 🙂

  5. Ah procrastination – one of those fear-based gnomes that keep popping up in our front yard! “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure…As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” Thank you Marianne Williamson for that!! Let your light shine – we need your brilliance!

    • I’d venture to say that procrastination is the result of fear, and not it in and of itself. Whenever I’m putting off doing something that I know is good for me, I ask myself, what am I afraid of? What change is here waiting for me to get over myself?

  6. I loved this post. I tried to comment via the e mail link and it said my FB link timed out. Weird, but anyway… thanks for this great post. Now where are we flying to? LOL

  7. Kelly

     /  11 November 2011

    You got it! I’ll hold you to this for the sake of your life, heck…for all of us who couldn’t live without you!


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