Why did the dead baby cross the road?
Because it was stapled to the chicken.
Stay with me here.
My regular yoga practice was going strong this winter, until I put it on hiatus for the past 3 weeks. I’m still figuring out how to be mobile and maintain a routine; usually something has to give, and this time yoga got sidelined. Back in Maine after a jaunt south to celebrate my sister’s birthday and get a B-12 shot of Gotham, I barely made it this morning to an early Vinyasa Flow class. Returning to the mat I felt like a blue square skier on a double black diamond slope – is this what happens when the pause button gets pushed? Damn! If Plank and Cobra didn’t make me feel like a traitor, then ‘resting’ in Downward Dog was far from soothing. In fact, while the blood was rushing to my head and my shoulders were painfully strained in this upside-down vee, I began feeling a HUGE resistance. Of course, I thought it’s been awhile and I’m out of practice. But it was more than that – it lodged massive and imposing like a mountain. I’d never felt so much physical force inside me. Little did I know I was on the verge of having emergency psychic surgery.
Quickly a vision of the resistance entered my awareness like a camera snapping into focus: a large ball, perhaps 3 feet in diameter, seemingly composed of milky white cartilage, smooth as a ball-bearing. Solid. Firmly half in and half out of my body, from my navel to my philtrum, nestled like an asteroid that just hit earth, I clearly felt this imaginary (?) object emerging from my mouth, my throat, my heart, my gut. I tilted my head back to give it room.
Immediately the asanas dropped their struggle, or I against them, and I effortlessly continued on through Pigeon, Tree, and Warrior III, while this otherworldly cartilage protrusion, still as stone, remained as real as the wood floor under my mat. When I finally came to the supine poses, nearing the end of the session, I lie there wondering… what next? Then this pearly, foreign sphere rolled up and off my chest, across the floor, into oblivion. I didn’t feel lighter, there was no crying or any other inclination to release. The only notable result was that I suddenly wanted a freshly juiced glass of green vegetables.
Back home, after stopping by the local grocery for all things green – kale, kohlrabi, celery, fennel, parsley and cabbage (as well as a bag of Willow Bake Shoppe donuts) – I reflected on the strangeness of my morning. I wasn’t compelled too much to figure it out, or understand any symbolic representation. Instead, what most interested me was feeling that I had just witnessed the boundary point of my unconscious and conscious minds.
I had no intimation of this coming nor did I feel afterward that anything paradigm-shifting had really happened – all I wanted was some raw green juice. But somehow I think something had occurred. I think there’s a whole world down there that I’m completely unaware of, with burrowing voles and tectonic waltzing that sometimes erupts. It’s just the first time I was keen to it.
Am I transformed? That remains to be seen.
So what was with the donuts? I sense they were my ‘dead baby:’ that which no longer serves me, but I haven’t relinquished yet. I’m crossing that road, and little is going to stop me, even if it resorts to absurd stapling tactics.